If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
