you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
