we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize