eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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