would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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