laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
