if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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