and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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