You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
whose ass print is on the piano?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
