He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
