yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
