Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize