Pappa wants mamma naked
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
