I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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