My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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