Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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