Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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