Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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