Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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