Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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