Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
