I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Enjoy the penises
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize