im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
