and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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