ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
