I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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