I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.