I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
