You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
