No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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