Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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