Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
