I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
