I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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