i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My pussy is not your playground.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
