so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
