he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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