I'd wear matching sweaters with you
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
