But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
