just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
