She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
