Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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