Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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