You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i now understand why vodka
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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