Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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