I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
