I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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