Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
worst night to have a conscience
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
