i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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