just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
