I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
