nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
