Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
