I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
