but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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