She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
