Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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