no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
