Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and she was petting her beer can
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
