I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
