I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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