I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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