Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
