you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
3 2 1 whiskey
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
