I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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