absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
